Dane Cook quotes - page 3

I grew up very self-loathing. I was a phobic. I had anxiety. I had panic attacks. (Dane Cook)

You've gotta share what's going on in your mind.

Dane Cook

Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.

Dane Cook

I work with a lot of kids. Every year, for the past fifteen years, I work at Comedy Camp where I work with a lot of kids.

Dane Cook

I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.

Dane Cook

I did stand-up comedy for seventeen years. I need to explore other things.

Dane Cook

It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.

Dane Cook

My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.

Dane Cook

I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.

Dane Cook

I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.

Dane Cook

You told your mother I was gonna blow you up with a fucking pumpkin bomb? What did she say? (Dane Cook)

I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.

Dane Cook

I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'

Dane Cook

No one wants to drown. Drowning would be the worst. Cause everyone knows that feeling. That feeling, oh it's the worst... when you think you're drowning.

Dane Cook

Here's the thing about Red Sox fans, or actually just fans from that region, in general: they appreciate the effort. And if you mail it in or if you give 80 percent, even with a win, they'll let you know that's not how you do it. They want - if it's comedian, if it's a musician, bring us your best show.

Dane Cook

I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.

Dane Cook

I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.

Dane Cook

I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.

Dane Cook

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

Dane Cook

I'm glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere.

Dane Cook

When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man. (Dane Cook)

I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

Dane Cook

A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.

Dane Cook

I would still have old ladies come up to me after the show and pat me on the cheek after I had said all this vulgar stuff, ... They would be like, 'Oh you're a silly boy - we know you're just playing.'

Dane Cook

I saw this on CNN a few days ago. In New York these cops freaked out. They shot at this guy like 15 times 'cause they said they thought he had a a grenade. HE WAS EATING A PEAR! How do you fuck that up?! Unless he was eating it like "AHHHHHH! *throws pear* THAT'S A DELICIOUS PEAR!!!"

Dane Cook

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