Dane Cook quotes - page 2

If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. They're very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you. (Dane Cook)
I'm a late-night guy. View quote
Dane Cook
I've lived in LA for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't any more. View quote
Dane Cook
I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it's so different from standup. View quote
Dane Cook
I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching. View quote
Dane Cook
I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous. View quote
Dane Cook
Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doin' 80?! View quote
Dane Cook
When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you. View quote
Dane Cook
Start each day out the holy way.. with Christ Chex, it's a miracle in a bowl. Just open the box and you hear AHHHHH.... and then a lil' angel flies out and says 'good morning, life is beautiful' View quote
Dane Cook
In the year 3000, everything will be instant. View quote
Dane Cook
It was Peace. Peace is when you would shake the hands of the people around you. And you knew peace was coming because the priest would say it five times rapid fire. He'd go, My peace I leave, my peace I give to you. While we ate Reese's Pieces with the Lord. And I have a piece of lint in my peaceful EYE. (Dane Cook)
The little boy inside of all us men always loves something video game related. View quote
Dane Cook
My nickname for my mom was 'The Compass.' View quote
Dane Cook
I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias. View quote
Dane Cook
I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad. View quote
Dane Cook
My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now. View quote
Dane Cook
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job. View quote
Dane Cook
There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes. View quote
Dane Cook
I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do. View quote
Dane Cook
This is a dream come true. HBO is the highest echelon in the world for a stand-up comedian to attain. Throughout my career I've trusted my instincts to lead me down the right path, and I am honored to work together with this network while contributing to the legacy that is HBO. View quote
Dane Cook
When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?' (Dane Cook)
I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian. View quote
Dane Cook
I feel like the gods have certainly patted me on the head. View quote
Dane Cook
I do try to keep my show very improvisational. I don't work off a set list; I like to keep it more in the moment. I like to have information about where I'm going, what might be happening in that particular region as well. I like for people to feel like the show is for them. View quote
Dane Cook
When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer. View quote
Dane Cook