Eoin Colfer quotes - page 3

If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written. (Eoin Colfer)
We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares! View quote
Eoin Colfer
(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl) View quote
Eoin Colfer
Good. Illegal is always faster. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Radomosity, thought Artemis. And he felt like weeping. View quote
Eoin Colfer
In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter-they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught. View quote
Eoin Colfer
And one more thing. About my name - Artemis - you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron. View quote
Eoin Colfer
They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Everything rests on the poisoned wine. If it were just the queen, I could force it down her gullet, but Declan Broekhart would run me through with that damned ceremonial sword, and if his wife's stares were daggers, he'd be dead already. (Eoin Colfer)
Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life. View quote
Eoin Colfer
The next minute or so was spent howling on the ceiling . Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really feeling it. It shouldn't be "Who do we hate?", he thought, it really should be "whom", but this probably wasn't a good time to bring that up. View quote
Eoin Colfer
He knew that Dr. Argon would advise him against bottling up his emotions as it would lead to psychological scarring in the long term. View quote
Eoin Colfer
My truffles? You took them? That's just mean! View quote
Eoin Colfer
A cloak of invisibility? This is a highly sensitive piece of field equipment. What does he think? Some warlock pulled it out of his armpit? View quote
Eoin Colfer
I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room. View quote
Eoin Colfer
The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons. View quote
Eoin Colfer
(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR. View quote
Eoin Colfer
No, I don't think you understand just how stupid goblins are. Let me give you an example. One of the B'wa Kell generals, and this is their top fairy, was caught caught trying to pass off forged credit slips by signing his own name. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Grab some caviar from the kitchen. You wouldn't believe the muck they feed us in Bartleby's for ten thousand a term. (Eoin Colfer)
Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition. View quote
Eoin Colfer
We get an apartment together, and after a whirlwind courtship you marry my sister and honeymoon in Vegas. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Everyone says that I have no sense of humor, then I construct a perfectly sound pun around a well-known psychological condition, and it is ignored. View quote
Eoin Colfer
I have always loved 'Stig of the Dump.' I think reading that book made me officially realise that I was a reader. View quote
Eoin Colfer