Eoin Colfer quotes - page 2

If things go badly for me tonight, I want you to stay with Mr. Wynter; he will pay you a decent wage.” "Will he make me bathe?” "No, he will debate the matter with you until you decide to wash.” "Ah. One of those. (Eoin Colfer)
Butler was seeing the world as it was, complete with L.E.P retrival team. View quote
Eoin Colfer
I am not exuding anything," said Holly through gritted teeth. Orion tapped her shoulder. "I beg to differ. You're exuding right now, a wonderful aura. It's pastel blue with little dolphins. View quote
Eoin Colfer
I feel like Alice falling into Wonderland. A line came to him: It would be so nice if something made sense for a change. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Trust me. I haven't been wrong yet. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Remember the pain?' thought Artemis. I hate myself. I really do. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Caballine likes me to be masterful. She calls me her stallion. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Commander: What's that? Foaly: It's a finger, what does look like? View quote
Eoin Colfer
It was calling me, that button," he offered as his excuse. "I couldn't resist." -MULCH DIGGUMS ON A HIGHLY PRESS-ABLE BUTTON. View quote
Eoin Colfer
I wear a name tag to help people find me. It saves time when you're dealing with idiots. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Control puberty?" snorted the bodyguard."If you manage that, you'll be the first. (Eoin Colfer)
Artemis ducked. Cudgeon didn't. Guess what? Artemis was smarter. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Don't try to understand me, just be grateful that you felt the warmth of Zaphod Beeblebrox's aura on your wonderstruck face. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Anything else, Butler?" "The cosh, sir. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Sometimes plans don't translate smoothly from paper to real life. View quote
Eoin Colfer
There seemed an unwritten agreement that the Thunder God should be left in peace, which was probably due to the very clearly written message painted on a whitewashed wall in what looked like lumpy congealed blood, which read: Leave me in peace and I probably won't kill you. No promise, mind. Probably is absolutely the best I can do. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Don't worry. I've been in showbusiness for a long time now - I know how to handle bastards. View quote
Eoin Colfer
A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers. View quote
Eoin Colfer
You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you. View quote
Eoin Colfer
A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon. (Eoin Colfer)
Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries. View quote
Eoin Colfer
Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss. View quote
Eoin Colfer
The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese. View quote
Eoin Colfer
I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon? View quote
Eoin Colfer