Andrew Dice Clay quotes

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me. (Andrew Dice Clay)

I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive when there's no traffic. It's almost like you own the street at night.

Andrew Dice Clay

I like when something makes you think after you stop watching.

Andrew Dice Clay

I want to be able to make people laugh as hard as they possibly can, and I really think they need that.

Andrew Dice Clay

I like a bush. A nice big, hairy, stinky, smelly fucking bush. And I hate when they put cologne on it. They dummy it up with cologne like you don't know where you are. I like that nice natural scent of salmon.

Andrew Dice Clay

What am I looking at? I want to eat you like a tossed fucking salad!

Andrew Dice Clay

I lived in Beverly Hills for years. I always had a line, 'I hate the rich.' From what I witnessed after living there for 15 years, these people just don't raise their kids. I used to see the lineup of cars in front of the schools and it was all the nannies.

Andrew Dice Clay

I certainly don't walk around my home or being with my family and just using profane language all the time, but on stage, it's a constant.

Andrew Dice Clay

I'm a Brooklyn guy onstage, and I try to really feed my fans with the kind of material they expect from me.

Andrew Dice Clay

I just like to make people laugh.

Andrew Dice Clay

I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic. (Andrew Dice Clay)

[to a fan that called out to him].

Andrew Dice Clay