Louis C.K. quotes - page 7

I don't have a brother in real life. (Louis C.K.)
When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep. View quote
Louis C.K.
I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' View quote
Louis C.K.
A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around. View quote
Louis C.K.
It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me. View quote
Louis C.K.
You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience. View quote
Louis C.K.
For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money. View quote
Louis C.K.
If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye. View quote
Louis C.K.
If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't. View quote
Louis C.K.
When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage. View quote
Louis C.K.
What comedy really is is connecting with a group of people, and just speaking at a heightened level without any barriers and saying things that are raw id, and having people really respond to it. You know, that's really what it is, and that's why there are people that I look at as comedy role models that aren't comedians, like Muhammad Ali. The way he spoke to audiences and crowds and stuff, if you watch some of his preaching to Nation of Islam crowds? Hilarious, and amazing, like he knew who the people were. He said, "You know what the fuck I'm talking about!” and he explained it to them. (Louis C.K.)
I'll do all the announcements that you would have heard. Please turn off your cell phones. You can take pictures but turn off the flash. That's stupid, because it's not-- You know when you're watching the World Series and there's all that-- Like your flash is lighting Yankee Stadium. Just leave your flash off. Don't yell out during the show. If you have something you want to say to me... This is what we do. We write it down and then you go outside in the lobby and then you go home and you f-yourself because, that's selfish. This is a rhetorical performance. It's got nothing to do with you. Don't text or twitter during the show. Just live your life. Don't keep telling people what you're doing. View quote
Louis C.K.
I remember reading an article about Frasier when it was going off the air – a very sad obituary from a TV writer who said that Frasier was such a smart show, and it was for the Mensa set. And he gave an example, where he quoted some line about a woman that Frasier thinks is very mean and he says, "Her idea of tough love is the Spanish Inquisition.” And they thought that was very smart-just because he mentioned something from history. View quote
Louis C.K.
I'm buying a Cinnabon ... at the airport ... I arrived at. You understand why that's extra disgusting, right? Because when you're at the airport you're leaving from, you can say, "Oh, I gotta eat. I need some food, because I might be trapped in the sky forever, so I should eat right now." But I've landed. The trip is over. I'm 20 minutes from my house, where I got bananas and apples and shit. And I'm sitting on my luggage just fucking eating a Cinnabon with a fork and knife. View quote
Louis C.K.