Bill Burr quotes - page 2

Carnegie Hall is as good as they say it is. It's not like Stonehenge which looks great in books but then you go there and it's a pile of rocks next to a highway. There's actually a highway right next to it, but you don't see that in pictures. (Bill Burr)
I've battled with that type of stuff, but what I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned about depression and how to combat it. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had my bouts with it. View quote
Bill Burr
I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed. I was scared. People were expecting me to be funny. I gotta be honest, every time I walk into a club, it's that same fear. View quote
Bill Burr
You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it. View quote
Bill Burr
The only time I get sick of making people laugh is when I'm in a non-writing-joke mode, and I just can't seem to come up with anything new that's funny. That's a tough place to be as a comedian. View quote
Bill Burr
You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me. View quote
Bill Burr
Rub one out like a man, it's the champagne of victory. View quote
Bill Burr
There's a critical point, when you've stayed single too long, that your brain switches from "No, don't say that" to "Eh, fuck it. Say it, see what happens." View quote
Bill Burr
(on whether motherhood is the world's most difficult job) View quote
Bill Burr
First of all, getting mad at a politician is like getting mad at Jennifer Aniston cause it's bad episode of Friends. They don't write it. View quote
Bill Burr