Bo Burnham quotes - page 2

I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments. (Bo Burnham)
I chose to do comedy instead of going to college. View quote
Bo Burnham
My whole family thinks I'm gay, I guess it's always been that way. Maybe it's 'cause of the way that I walk, Makes them think I like... boys. View quote
Bo Burnham
I just like to write and then perform. View quote
Bo Burnham
I've always wanted a black girlfriend. Not as a joke, just so when we sixty-nine I can call it Yin-Yanging. View quote
Bo Burnham
In high school, I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in - and I never went. View quote
Bo Burnham
I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It's like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, 'I think you try too hard in your comedy.' And that's what I worry about. View quote
Bo Burnham
When I see someone filming me, I don't usually think, 'No, man, don't put this up online!' I'd think, 'Hey man, you don't get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!' I love going to theatre and to shows so much. View quote
Bo Burnham
Postmodern comedy doesn't work well with very old audiences, because it's making fun of the comedy they enjoy. View quote
Bo Burnham
The strength of comedy is I don't have to answer to anybody, but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people. View quote
Bo Burnham
I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a 'sociopath.' (Bo Burnham)
I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it. View quote
Bo Burnham
At the time of 'Words, Words, Words,' I'm a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he's entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that's inherently a little bit ridiculous. View quote
Bo Burnham
I misdirect the audience, so they have no idea where they are or who they're listening to. View quote
Bo Burnham
Walkin' my poodles, man, it never gets old With my dogs on the leash, I got bitches on the hold A first-AIDS kit? That's a rhesus monkey I bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie. View quote
Bo Burnham
'Cause I'm Bo, yo / I'm the greatest rapper ever And I'll weather your weather whether you think I'm clever or not Think you're better, you're not / Don't need a sweater, I'm hot I'm a real G, shorty, that can really find your G-spot. View quote
Bo Burnham
Love is... your favorite food for every breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and Love is... the Holocaust, except you don't die quick and you don't get thinner, and Love is... bein' the owner of the company that makes rape whistles, and Even though you started the company with good intentions, trying to reduce the rate of rape, Now you don't want to reduce it at all, 'cause if the rape rate declines, you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. View quote
Bo Burnham
Look at all of Bo's hos, lookin' for a ride on Bo's hose And I spot a little Latino, booty so big, call it "Oprah's ego" We go to it, through it / She says "¡Dios mia, mi amigo!" Pull it out, stick it in your mouth, and I bust in the back of ya "Swallow bitch! There's people starvin' in Africa!" View quote
Bo Burnham
We know, Lord, from John 3:16, that you so loved the world that you sent your only son to die for us. Your only son! But at the same time, we're all your children, so in your eyes, we're a bunch of girls. So help us as we struggle with the temptations of lesbianism. Amen. View quote
Bo Burnham
So, um... I've been working on this special now for six months. And the whole time I've had a... a goal in mind, which is I wanted to finish this thing before I turned 30. Um, because the idea of turning 30, while still in this fucking room, working on this thing alone, um, that just seemed... I just... I just wanted to avoid that. And you might be thinking, "Well, that's fine. You know, look at you, You radiate such youth, You must not be turning 30 for years." And that's very, uh, nice of you to say. But the truth is um, I turn 30 in less than a minute. So I'm just gonna sit here and enjoy my twenties, and then get back to work. Yay. View quote
Bo Burnham