Victor Borge quotes

The smile is the shortest distance between two persons. (Victor Borge)
I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't. View quote
Victor Borge
Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year. View quote
Victor Borge
When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza... I hate Liebestraum. View quote
Victor Borge
The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer. View quote
Victor Borge
There is a bit of Hans Christian Andersen in every Dane. View quote
Victor Borge
The first piano was built long after they didn't have any at all. View quote
Victor Borge
I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year. View quote
Victor Borge
Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. View quote
Victor Borge
I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano. View quote
Victor Borge
What is the difference between a Nazi and a dog? The Nazi lifts his arm. (Victor Borge)
I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible... and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary. View quote
Victor Borge
Ah Mozart He was happily married - but his wife wasn't. View quote
Victor Borge
One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace. View quote
Victor Borge
(Shortly after Germany forced Denmark to sign a non-aggression pact in 1939) How nice. Now the Germans can sleep in peace, knowing that they will not be invaded by us. View quote
Victor Borge
[of English] It's your language. I'm just trying to use it. View quote
Victor Borge
My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it. View quote
Victor Borge
If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward. View quote
Victor Borge
When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance. View quote
Victor Borge
In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say. View quote
Victor Borge
I know canned music makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more. But how much more can they get out of you on an elevator. (Victor Borge)