Lewis Black quotes - page 4

I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it's a healthy outlet for them. If they weren't covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they'd be doing something that was really, really creepy. (Lewis Black)
If I get a week off, I'll go to a hotel that has a golf course. I like to come downstairs and go right onto the course. I'll do that five days in a row. View quote
Lewis Black
I get an idea about something. I just start thinking about it, and then I get onstage and I talk about it, and then I think about it some more and talk about it some more, and think about it some more and talk about it some more, until it starts to take a shape. View quote
Lewis Black
I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to us during the summer. They can start talking again after Labor Day. View quote
Lewis Black
I'm a selfish, little pig of a man. View quote
Lewis Black
Online, there's no time. It's always Christmas. View quote
Lewis Black
I love anything that gets me outside of my own head. View quote
Lewis Black
I'm amazed that anyone is interested in what I have to say. View quote
Lewis Black
Janeane Garofalo ended up, in a sense, being pushed by the media into becoming a pundit. View quote
Lewis Black
I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke. View quote
Lewis Black
For a while, I thought the great disappointment of my life was that I don't have a family of my own. Then it dawned on me: That's not what I think; that's what married people think. (Lewis Black)
Being a playwright is like the equivalent of doing a jigsaw puzzle that has 1,500 pieces, and it's a jigsaw of a blue sky. Not a cloud in sight. View quote
Lewis Black
I don't buy the 'at 60 it's great to have kids' thing. I don't buy the line that has been thrown down - 'You can have a kid at any time.' That doesn't mean you should. View quote
Lewis Black
Parenting isn't just parenting your own child. View quote
Lewis Black
One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster than anger. View quote
Lewis Black
When I'm funny is when I'm angriest. View quote
Lewis Black
The core of the American public, their hearts and their minds are in the right place. And that gives me hope. View quote
Lewis Black
Most of the longer-term relationships I've known have been gay relationships. They seem to be able to hang out longer. View quote
Lewis Black
I watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated. View quote
Lewis Black
This is how sad my life is: I got a scar from scratching my chicken pox too much. That's my big scar story. I really have no major scars. View quote
Lewis Black
You're on Facebook, and these people seem to have endless lives. I don't have time to live my life, let alone tell you what I'm doing, or post a photo. (Lewis Black)
Self-love is a big part of golf. View quote
Lewis Black
I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of panic. View quote
Lewis Black
Macs are not intuitive. It's intuitive to the person who created it. It's not intuitive to me. View quote
Lewis Black
My problem has always been with authority, and I'm sure if anybody understands that, it's people in uniform. View quote
Lewis Black