Quotesdtb.com
Home
Authors
Quotes of the day
Top quotes
Topics
Jack Benny quotes - page 3
Mugger: Your money or your life.
Jack Benny
Rochester: You mean that shiny one with the three points on it?
Jack Benny
Bob Hope: Why do you want Jack's pants?
Jack Benny
Bob Hope: [finding some coins tied with string in Jack's trousers] When you ask this kid for a loan, and he says his money is tied up, he isn't kidding. This is an obstacle course for pickpockets.
Jack Benny
Jack: Gee, I never thought of that.
Jack Benny
Rochester: Well, it went down two points this last year.
Jack Benny
Jack: I want to look tanned, not lumpy.
Jack Benny
Jack: I know, but peanut butter?
Jack Benny
Marilyn Monroe: What about the difference in our ages?
Jack Benny
Clyde: General Electric.
Jack Benny
Jack: I'm thinking it over!
Jack Benny
Cook: We have some breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks.
Jack Benny
Jack: Well, only if you have enough. I'd hate for you to run out to the zoo just for me.
Jack Benny
Jack: Smell?... What do I want with smelling salts?
Jack Benny
Jack: What's the matter?
Jack Benny
Bob: Welcome to the Lucky Strike Program. In just a few minutes, you'll see our star, Gypsy Rose Benny.
Jack Benny
Jack: It's really dangerous, here in the jungle.
Jack Benny
Bob Hope: Let's not do any jokes we didn't plan on, eh.
Jack Benny
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
Jack Benny
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
Jack Benny
Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.
Jack Benny
Modesty is my best quality.
Jack Benny
Previous
1
2
3
(Current)
4
Next
![Jack: [pointing a pistol at Bob's trousers] I'm going to blow your brains out.
[Bob adjusts Jack's gun arm, so that the pistol is now pointing at Bob's head]. (Jack Benny)](https://cdn.quotesdtb.com/img/quotes_images_webp/64/jack-benny-arm-blow-849664.webp)
