Tim Allen quotes - page 2

In the last three years of racing I've met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it's the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years of understanding the background of them. She basically drives them and uses her gut feelings as to which is best. (Tim Allen)
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. View quote
Tim Allen
The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas - where it's a beautiful theater - is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux. View quote
Tim Allen
I like Pixie Sticks. Yeah, screw the middle man. Just a tube of sugar... I'd pour two of those in a big 12 ounce coke. And I'd go out to catechism class and try to concentrate on the priest. I saw Jesus several times. I swear I did. View quote
Tim Allen
If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you. View quote
Tim Allen
A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. View quote
Tim Allen
Man is the only animal to borrow tools. View quote
Tim Allen
To get a man's attention, just stand in front of the TV and don't move. He'll talk to you. I promise. View quote
Tim Allen
If it ain't broke, you can probably still fix it. View quote
Tim Allen
Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them. View quote
Tim Allen
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded. (Tim Allen)
The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy. View quote
Tim Allen
I love doing logos. I've been a graphic artist all my life. View quote
Tim Allen
I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics. View quote
Tim Allen
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful. View quote
Tim Allen
Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom. View quote
Tim Allen
I'm sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults. View quote
Tim Allen
My comedy is not mine. It's a gift. I'm not that smart. View quote
Tim Allen
Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first. View quote
Tim Allen
Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink. View quote
Tim Allen
Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious. (Tim Allen)
I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody's car. View quote
Tim Allen
I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver. View quote
Tim Allen
I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults. View quote
Tim Allen
In my experience, it's all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers. View quote
Tim Allen