Scott Adams quotes - page 3

This sandwich used to include endive, but no one wanted to eat a BELT. (Scott Adams)
Stacey puts a little love in each pasta shell. But it's self-love, so it won't help you that much. View quote
Scott Adams
We smoke the bacon so you don't have to. View quote
Scott Adams
Our scallops are so delicious your mouth will thank you, which is creepy because your mouth can actually talk. View quote
Scott Adams
We use only the finest days of the week in this dish. View quote
Scott Adams
If you have questions about this salad, give your server the spinach inquisition. View quote
Scott Adams
I am saying: I see a flame thrower. I think the flame thrower guy wins in the stick fight. View quote
Scott Adams
Named after the great romaine emperor, Julius Salad. View quote
Scott Adams
This dish might not turn you into a syndicated cartoonist, but whatever you're doing now probably isn't working either. View quote
Scott Adams
Always Postpone Meetings with Time-wasting Morons. View quote
Scott Adams
People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred. (Scott Adams)
Our salmon sandwiches are so good you'll want to swim upstream to our kitchen and spawn. But please don't. View quote
Scott Adams
Much of politics is about hating imaginary people. View quote
Scott Adams
People think they follow advice but they don't. Humans are only capable of receiving information. They create their own advice. If you seek to influence someone, don't waste time giving advice. You can change only what people know, not what they do. View quote
Scott Adams
Trying to win an argument with an irrational person is like trying to teach a cat to snorkel by providing written instructions. No matter how clear your instructions, it won't work. Your best strategy is to reduce the time you spend in that sort of situation. View quote
Scott Adams
Thinking is easier than working. And the best kind of thinking is the kind where you don't have to write anything down, i.e., "meeting thinking." When you think up an idea during a meeting, all you have to do is blurt it out. You won't have to involve any parts of your body except your mouth and maybe your brain stem. View quote
Scott Adams
It's illegal to kill yourself in a quick and painless way, but if you do it slowly over a few decades -- say by not exercising -- that's called laziness, not suicide, and it's completely legal. You might even get credit for being jolly or get a job as a TV chef on a cable network. View quote
Scott Adams
People don't change their basic nature, they just accumulate more stuff upon which they can apply their stupidity, selfishness, and horniness. From this perspective, the future isn't hard to predict. View quote
Scott Adams
If a job's worth doing, it's too hard. View quote
Scott Adams
One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead. View quote
Scott Adams
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives. (Scott Adams)
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. View quote
Scott Adams
Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. View quote
Scott Adams
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results. View quote
Scott Adams
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart. View quote
Scott Adams