Terry Pratchett quotes - page 7

(About sweeping).... What he was in FACT doing was moving the dirt around with a broom, to give it a change of scenery and a chance to make new friends. (Terry Pratchett)
Once upon a time the plural of 'wizard' was 'war'. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one. But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten. View quote
Terry Pratchett
DON'T THINK OF IT AS DYING, said Death. JUST THINK OF IT AS LEAVING EARLY TO AVOID THE RUSH. View quote
Terry Pratchett
If you have enough book space, I don't want to talk to you. View quote
Terry Pratchett
The whole of life is just like watching a film. Only it's as though you always get in ten minutes after the big picture has started, and no-one will tell you the plot, so you have to work it out all yourself from the clues. View quote
Terry Pratchett
She was already learning that if you ignore the rules people will, half the time, quietly rewrite them so that they don't apply to you. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Death: "THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT." Albert: "Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Do you think it's possible for an entire nation to be insane? View quote
Terry Pratchett
Inside every sane person there's a madman struggling to get out," said the shopkeeper. "That's what I've always thought. No one goes mad quicker than a totally sane person. View quote
Terry Pratchett
The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one. (Terry Pratchett)
There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Anyway, if you stop tellin' people it's all sorted out afer they're dead, they might try sorting it all out while they're alive. View quote
Terry Pratchett
The enemy isn't men, or women, it's bloody stupid people and no one has the right to be stupid. View quote
Terry Pratchett
In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Zoology, eh? That's a big word, isn't it." "No, actually it isn't," said Tiffany. "Patronizing is a big word. Zoology is really quite short. View quote
Terry Pratchett
A good plan isn't one where someone wins, it's where nobody thinks they've lost. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Steal five dollars and you're a common thief. Steal thousands and you're either the government or a hero. View quote
Terry Pratchett
She was also, by the standards of other people, lost. She would not see it like that. She knew where she was, it was just that everywhere else didn't. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk. View quote
Terry Pratchett
I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?' If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth? (Terry Pratchett)
What's a philosopher?' said Brutha. Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting,' said a voice in his head. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Some things are fairly obvious when it's a seven-foot skeleton with a scythe telling you them. View quote
Terry Pratchett
She'd become a governess. It was one of the few jobs a known lady could do. And she'd taken to it well. She'd sworn that if she did indeed ever find herself dancing on rooftops with chimney sweeps she'd beat herself to death with her own umbrella. View quote
Terry Pratchett
YOU FEAR TO DIE? "It's not that I don't want... I mean, I've always... it's just that life is a habit that's hard to break... View quote
Terry Pratchett