Terry Pratchett quotes - page 36

You can't make people happy by law. If you said to a bunch of average people two hundred years ago "Would you be happy in a world where medical care is widely available, houses are clean, the world's music and sights and foods can be brought into your home at small cost, traveling even 100 miles is easy, childbirth is generally not fatal to mother or child, you don't have to die of dental abcesses and you don't have to do what the squire tells you" they'd think you were talking about the New Jerusalem and say 'yes'. (Terry Pratchett)
They called themselves the Munrungs. It meant The People, or The True Human Beings. It's what most people call themselves, to begin with. And then one day the tribe meets some other People or, if it's not been a good day, The Enemy. If only they'd think up a name like Some More True Human Beings, it'd save a lot of trouble later on. View quote
Terry Pratchett
"I know it's a very human thing to say 'Is there anything I can do', but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry." - after announcing his Alzheimer's diagnosis. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate. View quote
Terry Pratchett
There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been pinching my beer? View quote
Terry Pratchett
An ancient proverb summed it up when a wizard is tired of looking for broken glass in his dinner, it ran, he is tired of life. View quote
Terry Pratchett
It was also a room full of books and made of books. There was no actual furniture; this is to say, the desk and chairs were shaped out of books. It looked as though many of them were frequently referred to, because they lay open with other books used as bookmarks. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Neither of my parents went to church, but they did everything that you needed to do to be Christian. That's something a Quaker would call an intimation of the divine. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants - the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl. View quote
Terry Pratchett
I do not in fact use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while. (Terry Pratchett)
I have to write because if I don't get something down then after a while I feel it's going to bang the side of my head off. View quote
Terry Pratchett
I grow as many of our vegetables as I can, because my granddad was a professional gardener, and it's in the blood. View quote
Terry Pratchett
It seems that when you have cancer you are a brave battler against the disease, but when you have Alzheimer's you are an old fart. That's how people see you. It makes you feel quite alone. View quote
Terry Pratchett
I wonder if it's like this for mountain climbers, he thought. You climb bigger and bigger mountains and you know that one day one of them is going to be just that bit too steep. But you go on doing it, because it's so-o good when you breathe the air up there. And you know you'll die falling. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, o'course. View quote
Terry Pratchett
By the time you've reached your sixties, you do know that one day you will die, and knowing that is at least the beginning of wisdom. View quote
Terry Pratchett
And therefore education at the University mostly worked by the age-old method of putting a lot of young people in the vicinity of a lot of books and hoping that something would pass from one to the other, while the actual young people put themselves in the vicinity of inns and taverns for exactly the same reason. View quote
Terry Pratchett
When you're all singing together, it brings things together. I know the songs that my grandfather and my father sang. View quote
Terry Pratchett
I know it's a very human thing to say 'Is there anything I can do', but in this case I would only entertain offers from very high-end experts in brain chemistry. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Aziraphale collected books. If he were totally honest with himself he would have to have admitted that his bookshop was simply somewhere to store them. He was not unusual in this. In order to maintain his cover as a typical second-hand book seller, he used every means short of actual physical violence to prevent customers from making a purchase. Unpleasant damp smells, glowering looks, erratic opening hours - he was incredibly good at it. (Terry Pratchett)
Sister Mary was a nurse and nurses, whatever their creed, are primarily nurses, which had a lot to do with wearing your watch upside down, keeping calm in emergencies, and dying for a cup of tea. View quote
Terry Pratchett
I don't think about the end game. I've got lots to occupy my mind. It's the rage that keeps me going. View quote
Terry Pratchett
The best thing I ever did with my life was stand up and say I've got Alzheimer's. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Theres no stink more sorrorful than the stink of wet, burnt paper. It means: the end. View quote
Terry Pratchett