Terry Pratchett quotes - page 26

Inside every lump of coal there's a diamond waiting to get out. (Terry Pratchett)
You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Natural selection saw to it that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask themselves questions like 'What is my purpose in life?' very quickly lacked both. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Don't be smart. Smart is only a polished version of dumb. Try intelligence. It will surely see you through. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Assassins did have a certain code, after all. It was dishonorable to kill someone if you weren't being paid. View quote
Terry Pratchett
the IQ of a mob is the IQ of its most stupid member divided by the number of mobsters. View quote
Terry Pratchett
And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. View quote
Terry Pratchett
And, while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions. View quote
Terry Pratchett
A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest, Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Granny Weatherwax was not lost. She wasn't the kind of person who ever became lost. It was just that, at the moment, while she knew exactly where SHE was, she didn't know the position of anywhere else. View quote
Terry Pratchett
No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?" "What?" "Oh, you'd like something simpler? (Terry Pratchett)
... William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense. View quote
Terry Pratchett
These weren't cheap modern books; these were books bound in leather, and not just leather, but leather from clever cows who had given their lives for literature after a happy existence in the very best pastures. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Everyone knew there were wolves in the mountains, but they seldom came near the village - the modern wolves were the offspring of ancestors that had survived because they had learned that human meat had sharp edges. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Tragic heroes always moan when the gods take an interest in them, but it's the people the gods ignore who get the really tough deals. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Humanity's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there. View quote
Terry Pratchett
... the food was good solid stuff for a cold morning, all calories and fat and protein and maybe a vitamin crying softly because it was all alone. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Anyway, why would you trust anything written down? She certainly didn't trust "Mothers of Borogravia!" and that was from the government. And if you couldn't trust the government, who could you trust? Very nearly everyone, come to think of it... View quote
Terry Pratchett
They always gives me bath salts," complained Nobby. "And bath soap and bubble bath and herbal bath lumps and tons of bath stuff and I can't think why, 'cos it's not as if I hardly ever has a bath. You'd think they'd take the hint, wouldn't you? (Terry Pratchett)
Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Oh. I see. People don't want to see what can't possibly exist. View quote
Terry Pratchett
[Science fiction is] out in the mainstream now. You can tell by the way mainstream literary authors pillage SF while denying they're writing it! View quote
Terry Pratchett
People don't alter history any more than birds alter the sky, they just make brief patterns in it. View quote
Terry Pratchett