Terry Pratchett quotes - page 22

Shoes, men, coffins; never accept the first one you see. (Terry Pratchett)
Magrat had used a lot of powder to make her face pale and interesting. It combined with the lavishly applied mascara to give the guard the impression that he was looking at two flies that had crashed into a sugar bowl. View quote
Terry Pratchett
But what's worth more than gold?" "Practically everything. You, for example. Gold is heavy. Your weight in gold is not very much gold at all. Aren't you worth more than that? View quote
Terry Pratchett
Bill Door was impressed. Miss Flitworth could actually give the word "revenue", which had two vowels and one diphthong, all the peremptoriness of the word "scum. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo. View quote
Terry Pratchett
But then science is nothing but a series of questions that lead to more questions. View quote
Terry Pratchett
You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap. View quote
Terry Pratchett
The reaper does not listen to the harvest. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Sometimes thinking is like talking to another person, but that person is also you. View quote
Terry Pratchett
There was no light at the end of the tunnel--or if there was, it was an oncoming train. View quote
Terry Pratchett
His sister had been sent down to the village to ask Mistress Garlick the witch how you stopped spelling recommendation. (Terry Pratchett)
Maybe the only significant difference between a really smart simulation and a human being was the noise they made when you punched them. View quote
Terry Pratchett
One of the things forgotten about the human spirit is that while it is, in the right conditions, noble and brave and wonderful, it is also, when you get right down to it, only human. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Her singing always cheered him up. Life seemed so much brighter when she stopped. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Vimes's lack of interest in other people's children was limitless. View quote
Terry Pratchett
I don't want to hurt you, Mistress Weatherwax," said Mrs Gogol. "That's good," said Granny. "I don't want you to hurt me either. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because-what with trolls and dwarfs and so on-speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green. View quote
Terry Pratchett
If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone's wallets. View quote
Terry Pratchett
This is a lovely party," said the Bursar to a chair, "I wish I was here. View quote
Terry Pratchett
He sighed. It had come to this. He was a responsible authority, and people could use terms like "core values" at him with impunity. View quote
Terry Pratchett
But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats. (Terry Pratchett)
And our lady friend, she thinks life works like a fairy tale.' Well, that's harmless, isn't it?' Yeah, but in fairy tales, when someone dies... it's just a word. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Sometimes the only thing you could do for people was to be there. View quote
Terry Pratchett
I notice you didn't laugh, Mr. Black! No, Your Majesty. We are forbidden to laugh at the things kings say, sire, because otherwise we would be at it all day. View quote
Terry Pratchett
Young man, the games we play are lessons we learn. The assumptions we make, things we ignore, and things we change make us what we become. View quote
Terry Pratchett