Terry Pratchett quotes

In ancient times cats were worshiped as gods; they have not forgotten this. (Terry Pratchett)
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Terry Pratchett
Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.
Terry Pratchett
The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.
Terry Pratchett
It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living.
Terry Pratchett
They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
Terry Pratchett
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
Terry Pratchett
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Terry Pratchett
Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.
Terry Pratchett
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
Terry Pratchett
This isn't life in the fast lane, it's life in the oncoming traffic. (Terry Pratchett)
Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. Of course, I could be wrong.
Terry Pratchett
I mean, I wouldn't pay more than a couple of quid to see me, and I'm me.
Terry Pratchett
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
Terry Pratchett
Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care.
Terry Pratchett
Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show.
Terry Pratchett
Mind you, the Elizabethans had so many words for the female genitals that it is quite hard to speak a sentence of modern English without inadvertently mentioning at least three of them.
Terry Pratchett
'Educational' refers to the process, not the object. Although, come to think of it, some of my teachers could easily have been replaced by a cheeseburger.
Terry Pratchett
The intelligence of the creature known as a crowd, is the square root of the number of people in it.
Terry Pratchett
Eight years involved with the nuclear industry have taught me that when nothing can possible go wrong and every avenue has been covered, then is the time to buy a house on the next continent.
Terry Pratchett
Never trust any complicated cocktail that remainds perfectly clear until the last ingredient goes in, and then immediately clouds. (Terry Pratchett)
Dickens, as you know, never got round to starting his home page.
Terry Pratchett
I didn't go to university. Didn't even finish A-levels. But I have sympathy for those who did.
Terry Pratchett
Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon.
Terry Pratchett
Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.
Terry Pratchett