George Mikes quotes

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one. (George Mikes)
Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.
George Mikes
On the Continent people have good food; in England, people have good table manners.
George Mikes
Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and, generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.
George Mikes
When people say England, they sometimes mean Great Britain, sometimes the United Kingdom, sometimes the British Isles, – but never England.
George Mikes
Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.
George Mikes
In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge; nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them.
George Mikes
The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science, their labour bore fruit.
George Mikes
Jokes are better than war. Even the most aggressive jokes are better than the least aggressive wars. Even the longest jokes are better than the shortest wars.
George Mikes
In England everything is the other way round.
George Mikes
The man who is not afraid of danger is not a hero, but a psychopath. (George Mikes)
The world still consists of two clearly divided groups: the English and the foreigners. One group consists of less than 50 million people; the other of 3,950 million. The latter group does not really count.
George Mikes
Teach foreign how to be alive in England.
George Mikes