Boris Johnson quotes

I love tennis with a passion. I challenged Boris Becker to a match once and he said he was up for it but he never called back. I bet I could make him run around. (Boris Johnson)
I'm backing David Cameron's campaign out of pure, cynical self-interest. View quote
Boris Johnson
My friends, as I have discovered myself, there are no disasters, only opportunities. And, indeed, opportunities for fresh disasters. View quote
Boris Johnson
I have as much chance of becoming Prime Minister as of being decapitated by a frisbee or of finding Elvis. View quote
Boris Johnson
There is absolutely no one, apart from yourself, who can prevent you, in the middle of the night, from sneaking down to tidy up the edges of that hunk of cheese at the back of the fridge. View quote
Boris Johnson
My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive. View quote
Boris Johnson
The dreadful truth is that when people come to see their MP, they have run out of better ideas. View quote
Boris Johnson
The Lib Dems are not just empty. They are a void within a vacuum surrounded by a vast inanition. View quote
Boris Johnson
I think I was once given cocaine but I sneezed so it didn't go up my nose. In fact, it may have been icing sugar. View quote
Boris Johnson
Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3. View quote
Boris Johnson
I cant remember what my line on drugs is. Whats my line on drugs? (Boris Johnson)
It is said that the Queen has come to love the Commonwealth, partly because it supplies her with regular cheering crowds of flag-waving picaninnies; and one can imagine that Blair, twice victor abroad but enmired at home, is similarly seduced by foreign politeness. They say he is shortly off to the Congo. No doubt the AK47s will fall silent, and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh, and the tribal warriors will all break out in Watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird. View quote
Boris Johnson
Yes, cannabis is dangerous, but no more than other perfectly legal drugs. It's time for a rethink, and the Tory party - the funkiest, most jiving party on Earth - is where it's happening. View quote
Boris Johnson
Dark forces dragged me away from the keyboard, swirling forces of irresistible intensity and power. View quote
Boris Johnson
Life isn't like coursework, baby. It's one damn essay crisis after another. View quote
Boris Johnson
It is just flipping unbelievable. He is a mixture of Harry Houdini and a greased piglet. He is barely human in his elusiveness. Nailing Blair is like trying to pin jelly to a wall. View quote
Boris Johnson
Nothing excites compassion, in friend and foe alike, as much as the sight of you ker-splonked on the Tarmac with your propeller buried six feet under. View quote
Boris Johnson
I don't see why people are so snooty about Channel 5. It has some respectable documentaries about the Second World War. It also devotes considerable airtime to investigations into lap dancing, and other related and vital subjects. View quote
Boris Johnson
That is the best case for Bush; that, among other things, he liberated Iraq. It is good enough for me. View quote
Boris Johnson
Try as I might, I could not look at an overhead projection of a growth profit matrix, and stay conscious. View quote
Boris Johnson
The meat in the sausage has got to be Conservative. (Boris Johnson)
In 1904, 20 per cent of journeys were made by bicycle in London. I want to see a figure like that again. If you can't turn the clock back to 1904, what's the point of being a Conservative? View quote
Boris Johnson
He's lost the plot, people tell me. He's drifting rudderless in the wide Sargasso Sea of New Labour's ideological vacuum. View quote
Boris Johnson
Some readers will no doubt say that a devil is inside me; and though my faith is a bit like Magic FM in the Chilterns, in that the signal comes and goes, I can only hope that isn't so. View quote
Boris Johnson
The proposed ban on incitement to "religious hatred" makes no sense unless it involves a ban on the Koran itself; and that would be pretty absurd, when you consider that the Bill's intention is to fight Islamophobia. View quote
Boris Johnson