Mel Brooks quotes

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. (Mel Brooks)
If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.
Mel Brooks
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Mel Brooks
If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.
Mel Brooks
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.
Mel Brooks
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
Mel Brooks
Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him.
Mel Brooks
Everything we do in life is based on fear, especially love.
Mel Brooks
I only direct in self-defense.
Mel Brooks
If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.
Mel Brooks
Anybody can direct. There are only 11 good writers. (Mel Brooks)
Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.
Mel Brooks
Stormtrooper Mel : Don't be stupid, be a smarty Come and join the Nazi Party!
Mel Brooks
Hope for the best, expect the worst. Life is a play. We're unrehearsed.
Mel Brooks
The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.
Mel Brooks
I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
Mel Brooks
Robin Hood: Watch my back! Achoo: Yo' back just got punched twice.
Mel Brooks
Sheriff Bart [waking up a drunk Jim in jail]: Are we awake? Jim "The Waco Kid": We don't know. Are we black? Sheriff Bart: Yes we are. Jim "The Waco Kid": Then we're awake, but we're very puzzled.
Mel Brooks
Dark Helmet [after everyone on the bridge announces that their last name is "Asshole."]: I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes.
Mel Brooks
[explaining that Paul Revere was Anti-Semitic] He was scared they were moving into the neighborhood. "They're coming, they're coming. The Yiddish, they're coming"
Mel Brooks
Leo Bloom: Actors are not animals! They're human beings! Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one? (Mel Brooks)
I was in the middle of shooting the last few weeks of Blazing Saddles somewhere in the Antelope Valley, and Gene Wilder and I were having a cup of coffee and he said, I have this idea that there could be another "Frankenstein." I said not another - we've had the son of, the cousin of, the brother-in-law, we don't need another Frankenstein. His idea was very simple: What if the grandson of Dr. Frankenstein wanted nothing to do with the family whatsoever. He was ashamed of those wackos. I said, "That's funny."
Mel Brooks
Ahchoo:Man, white men can't jump!!
Mel Brooks
Sheriff Bart: Since I am your host and you are my guest what are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time? Jim "The Waco Kid": Oh you know, play chess...screw. Sheriff Bart: Well let's play chess!
Mel Brooks
King Louis XVI [prior to his arrest]: It's good to be the king. (Also used in Robin Hood- Men In Tights and The Producers [Musical])
Mel Brooks