Ambrose Bierce quotes - page 5

VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions. (Ambrose Bierce)
OPPOSITION, n. In politics the party that prevents the Government from running amuck by hamstringing it. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
BACK, n. That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
SCRIPTURES, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
REVELATION, n. A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
CALLOUS, adj. Gifted with great fortitude to bear the evils afflicting another. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
The wife, or bitter half. (Ambrose Bierce)
The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of remarkable Christian forbearance among men - were it not for a mawkish humanitarianism, coupled with imperfect digestive powers, we should devour our young, as Nature intended. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
A popular author is one who writes what the people think. Genius invites them to think something else. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
To the eye of failure success is an accident. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Feast, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, frequently in honor of some holy person distinguished for abstemiousness. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
FRIENDSHIP, n. A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul. (Ambrose Bierce)
Happiness is lost by criticizing it; sorrow by accepting it. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
If you want to read a perfect book there is only one way: write it. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth. View quote
Ambrose Bierce