Ambrose Bierce quotes - page 3

Woman would be more charming if one could fall into her arms without falling into her hands. (Ambrose Bierce)
Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Success, n. The one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and was arrested on the seventh. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
NEIGHBOR, n. One whom we are commanded to love as ourselves, and who does all he knows how to make us disobedient. (Ambrose Bierce)
Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
JUSTICE, n. A commodity which is a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
GENEROUS, adj. Originally this word meant noble by birth and was rightly applied to a great multitude of persons. It now means noble by nature and is taking a bit of a rest. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
SELF-denial, n. Indulgence of a propensity to forego. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
DAWN, n. The time when men of reason go to bed. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
CIRCUS, n. A place where horses, ponies and elephants are permitted to see men, women and children acting the fool. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for. (Ambrose Bierce)
RESIGN, v.t. To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Heaven, n. A place where the wicked cease from troubling you with talk of their personal affairs, and the good listen with attention while you expound your own. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
INSURRECTION, n. An unsuccessful revolution. Disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. View quote
Ambrose Bierce