Ambrose Bierce quotes - page 26

GEOGRAPHER, n. A chap who can tell you offhand the difference between the outside of the world and the inside. (Ambrose Bierce)
LOGOMACHY, n. A war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder of self-esteem a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
NOISE, n. A stench in the ear. Undomesticated music. The chief product and authenticating sign of civilization. View quote
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TRUCE, n. Friendship. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines, who believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. Herod of Judea, all the famous soldiers have been practical exponents of the Malthusian idea. View quote
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PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another. View quote
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PRE-EXISTENCE, n. An unnoted factor in creation. View quote
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PREHISTORIC, adj. Belonging to an early period and a museum. Antedating the art and practice of perpetuating falsehood. View quote
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When in Rome, do as Rome does. View quote
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CONGRESS, n. A body of men who meet to repeal laws. View quote
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USAGE, n. The First Person of the literary Trinity, the Second and Third being Custom and Conventionality. Imbued with a decent reverence for this Holy Triad an industrious writer may hope to produce books that will live as long as the fashion. (Ambrose Bierce)
SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice to him it should be said that he did not want to. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
OSTRICH, n. A large bird to which (for its sins, doubtless) nature has denied that hinder toe .... The absence of a good working pair of wings is no defect, for, as has been ingeniously pointed out, the ostrich does not fly. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect. View quote
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ADAGE, n. Boned wisdom for weak teeth. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom. View quote
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MULTITUDE, n. A crowd the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration. View quote
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ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend. (Ambrose Bierce)
AFFLICTION, n. An acclimatizing process preparing the soul for another and bitter world. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
PHILANTHROPIST, n. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket. View quote
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RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids. View quote
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REPARTEE, n. Prudent insult in retort. Practiced by gentlemen with a constitutional aversion to violence, but a strong disposition to offend. In a war of words, the tactics of the North American Indian. View quote
Ambrose Bierce