Ambrose Bierce quotes - page 20

MACE, n. A staff of office signifying authority. Its form, that of a heavy club, indicates its original purpose and use in dissuading from dissent. (Ambrose Bierce)
FLAG, n. A colored rag borne above troops and hoisted on forts and ships. It appears to serve the same purpose as certain signs that one sees and vacant lots in London 'Rubbish may be shot here.' View quote
Ambrose Bierce
GOUT, n. A physician's name for the rheumatism of a rich patient. View quote
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TEETOTALER, n. One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally. View quote
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TABLE D'HOTE, n. A caterer's thrifty concession to the universal passion for irresponsibility. View quote
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RESPECTABILITY, n. The offspring of a 'liaison' between a bald head and a bank account. View quote
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CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain. View quote
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LUMINARY, n. One who throws light upon a subject as an editor by not writing about it. View quote
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DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets. View quote
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ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record. View quote
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PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution. (Ambrose Bierce)
APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question. View quote
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BEHAVIOR, n. Conduct, as determined, not by principle, but by breeding. View quote
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LOGANIMITY, n. The disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge. View quote
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HERMIT, n. A person whose vices and follies are not sociable. View quote
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PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place. View quote
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SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam. View quote
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PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn. View quote
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GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These quills when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an 'author,' there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. View quote
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REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next. View quote
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REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted. (Ambrose Bierce)
PAST, n. That part of Eternity with some small fraction of which we have a slight and regrettable acquaintance. The Past is the Future of yesterday, the Future is the Past of to-morrow. They are one the knowledge and the dream. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
MANNA, n. A food miraculously given to the Israelites in the wilderness. When it was no longer supplied to them they settled down and tilled the soil, fertilizing it, as a rule, with the bodies of the original occupants. View quote
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RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
ENTERTAINMENT, n. Any kind of amusement whose inroads stop short of death by injection. View quote
Ambrose Bierce