Ambrose Bierce quotes - page 15

RAILROAD, n. The chief of many mechanical devices enabling us to get away from where we are to where we are no better off. The railroad is held in highest favor by the optimist, for it permits him to make the transit with great expedition. (Ambrose Bierce)
ELECTRICITY, n. The power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. I. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
COMFORT, n. A state of mind produced by contemplation of a neighbor's uneasiness. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
NIRVANA, n. In the Buddhist religion, a state of pleasurable annihilation awarded to the wise, particularly to those wise enough to understand it. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
TRUTH, n. An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance. Discovery of truth is the sole purpose of philosophy, which is the most ancient occupation of the human mind and has a fair prospect of existing ... to the end of time. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
Don't steal thoult never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
ENOUGH, pro. All there is in the world if you like it. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
PRESIDENT, n. The leading figure in a small group of men of whom and of whom only it is positively known that immense numbers of their countrymen did not want any of them for President. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
VANITY, n. The tribute of a fool to the worth of the nearest ass. (Ambrose Bierce)
KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for 'bliss.' It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
INTRODUCTION, n. A social ceremony invented by the devil for the gratification of his servants and the plaguing of his enemies. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
POSTERITY, n. An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author's contemporaries, the appellant being his obscure competitor. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
REPARATION, n. Satisfaction that is made for a wrong and deducted from the satisfaction felt in committing it. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
AIM, n. The task we set our wishes to. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
LAUREATE, adj. Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of caution. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
INTERPRETER, n. One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
LIAR, n. One who tells an unpleasant truth. (Ambrose Bierce)
REBEL, n. A proponent of a new misrule who has failed to establish it. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
LECTURER, n. One with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. View quote
Ambrose Bierce
REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words. View quote
Ambrose Bierce