Josh Billings quotes - page 3

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the truth without lying. (Josh Billings)
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. View quote
Josh Billings
Misplaced charity iz a good blunder tew make. If yu want tew git a good general idea ov a man's karakter find out from him what hiz opinion ov his nabor iz. View quote
Josh Billings
Misanthropy don't pay--thare aint no man living whoze hate the world cares one cuss for. View quote
Josh Billings
I don't suppoze thare haz ever lived a man without a single virtew. Even Judas Iskariot "went and hanged himself." View quote
Josh Billings
I don't beleaf in bad luck being sot for a man, like a trap, but i hav known lots ov folks, who if thare waz enny fust rate bad luck lieing around loose, would be sure tew git one foot in it enny how. View quote
Josh Billings
What should we do if it want for the churches? Thare iz a plenty ov people who kant worship God only in a church. If they were out in a field on the Sabbath day they would at once bekum lawless, and fall to digging out woodchucks or hunting for bumblebees' nests. View quote
Josh Billings
I hope i shall never hav so much reputashun that i shan't feel obliged to be alwus civil. View quote
Josh Billings
I don't kno az i want tew bet enny money, and giv odds, on the man, who iz alwus anxious tew pray out loud, every chance he kan git. View quote
Josh Billings
A man's reputashun iz something like hiz coat, thare iz certain kemikals that will take the stains and grease spots out ov it, but it alwus haz a second-handed kind ov a look, and generally smells strong ov the kemikals. View quote
Josh Billings
There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them. (Josh Billings)
Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. View quote
Josh Billings
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there. View quote
Josh Billings
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. View quote
Josh Billings
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. View quote
Josh Billings
Don't take the bull by the horns, take him by the tail then you can let go when you want to. View quote
Josh Billings
The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it. View quote
Josh Billings
When a doktor looks me square in the face and kant see no money in me, then i am happy. View quote
Josh Billings
Truth dont require the aid ov elegant and high stepping words, tew express its force, or buty, it iz like water, tastes better out ov a wooden bucket, than it duz out ov a golden goblet. View quote
Josh Billings
I hav often heard ov men who had bekum disgusted with the world, and retired into solitude; but i hav never heard ov a kommitty ov our fust citizens waiting on them and asking them tew kum bak. View quote
Josh Billings
If thare iz enny human being that i thoroughly loath, it iz the one who haz nothing tew boast ov but hiz money--a mere pimp tew hiz welth. (Josh Billings)
The wealth ov a person should be estimated, not bi the amount he haz, but bi the use he makes ov it. View quote
Josh Billings
When i see a poor, and proud aristokrat, purtiklar about punktillio, he alwus puts me in mind ov a drunken man, trieing tew walk a crack. View quote
Josh Billings
Ventilashun iz a good thing, but when a man kant lay down and sleep in a 10 aker lot without taking down two lengths ov fence to let the wind in he iz alltogether too airish. View quote
Josh Billings
Them folks who are sudden, aint apt tew be solid; lively streams are alwus shallow. View quote
Josh Billings