Woody Allen quotes - page 7

We have to take our possessions and flee. I'm very good at that. I was the men's freestyle fleeing champion two years in a row. (Woody Allen)
Cookie: What are you sad about?Harry: I'm spiritually bankrupt. I'm empty.Cookie: What do you mean?Harry: I'm frightened. I got no soul, you know what I mean? Let me put it this way: when I was younger it was less scary waiting for Lefty than it is waiting for Godot.Cookie: You lost me!Harry: You know that the universe is coming apart? You know about that? You know what a black hole is?Cookie: Yeah. That's how I make my living. View quote
Woody Allen
We're worth a lot of dough. Whatever you see is antiques. This thing here. This is from - I don't remember exactly. I think it's the Renaissance or the Magna Carta or something. But that's where it's from. View quote
Woody Allen
Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens. View quote
Woody Allen
Harry: (On being called a self-hating Jew) Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish. View quote
Woody Allen
It's a match made in heaven... by a retarded angel. View quote
Woody Allen
I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. View quote
Woody Allen
Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem. View quote
Woody Allen
Showing up is 80 percent of life. View quote
Woody Allen
I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic. View quote
Woody Allen
Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. (Woody Allen)
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. View quote
Woody Allen
Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with. View quote
Woody Allen
I can levitate birds. No one cares. View quote
Woody Allen
The heart wants what it wants. View quote
Woody Allen
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ. View quote
Woody Allen
A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio. View quote
Woody Allen
Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian. View quote
Woody Allen
If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse. View quote
Woody Allen
Your self esteem is like a notch below Kafka's. View quote
Woody Allen
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open? (Woody Allen)
Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat... college. View quote
Woody Allen
I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier. View quote
Woody Allen
The wicked at heart probably know something. View quote
Woody Allen
Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser! View quote
Woody Allen