Woody Allen quotes - page 10

Burt: Do you care even about the Holocaust or do you think it never happened?Harry: Not only do I know that we lost six million, but the scary thing is that records are made to be broken. (Woody Allen)
Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday. View quote
Woody Allen
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer not to love is to suffer to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. View quote
Woody Allen
I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty. View quote
Woody Allen
You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out. View quote
Woody Allen
I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom... and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know. View quote
Woody Allen
I've never been an intellectual but I have this look. View quote
Woody Allen
I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak. View quote
Woody Allen
Humorists always sit at the children's table. View quote
Woody Allen
You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter. View quote
Woody Allen
I don't have to 'freedom-kiss' my wife when what I really want to do is French-kiss her. (Woody Allen)
[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day. View quote
Woody Allen
I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep. View quote
Woody Allen
Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine. View quote
Woody Allen
Don't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here. View quote
Woody Allen
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right. View quote
Woody Allen
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. View quote
Woody Allen
I like the rain. It washes memories off the sidewalk of life. View quote
Woody Allen
The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7', it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone. View quote
Woody Allen
They're not interested. They've got their own lives, and their own problems, and their own shadows on their lungs, and their x-rays. And, you know, they've got their own stuff they're dealing with.... So, I'm just never nervous about it. View quote
Woody Allen
I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm. (Woody Allen)
My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers. View quote
Woody Allen
If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. View quote
Woody Allen
Political questions, if you go back thousands of years, are ephemeral, not important. History is the same thing over and over again. View quote
Woody Allen
I have no apprehension whatsoever. I've been through this so many times. View quote
Woody Allen