Bob Hope quotes

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. (Bob Hope)
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. View quote
Bob Hope
I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. View quote
Bob Hope
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano. View quote
Bob Hope
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. View quote
Bob Hope
I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. View quote
Bob Hope
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. View quote
Bob Hope
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap. View quote
Bob Hope
When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things - not the great occasions - give off the greatest glow of happiness. View quote
Bob Hope
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that. View quote
Bob Hope
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction. (Bob Hope)
If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble. View quote
Bob Hope
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off. View quote
Bob Hope
You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it. View quote
Bob Hope
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. View quote
Bob Hope
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast. View quote
Bob Hope
A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn? View quote
Bob Hope
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong. View quote
Bob Hope
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure. View quote
Bob Hope
I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. View quote
Bob Hope
I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar! (Bob Hope)
In his prime, the young comic walked onto a stage with the confidence of a man who owned it, and by the time he walked off, he did. View quote
Bob Hope
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. View quote
Bob Hope
Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued. View quote
Bob Hope
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup. View quote
Bob Hope