Robin Williams quotes - page 4

What kind of food did we drop on Afghanistan? Pop-Tarts, peanut butter...just add a Honey Baked Ham and you've got a redneck Christmas. Why are we dropping this food on Afghanistan? Tastes a shit load better than dirt, #1. #2, difficult to have a call to jihad with a mouth full of peanut butter. Thirdly, Afghanistan is a hashish-smoking culture, and anyone who's ever been a friend of the hookah will go, (intense, stoned stare) "Pop-Tarts!" (Robin Williams)
My favorite athletes of any Olympics are always the African distance runners. You never have to drug test an African distance runner. "Are you on drugs?" "No, I'm looking for food." And I'm sure in Kenya they have a chicken that can run a sub 2-hour marathon.... One of my favorite runners of all time was Abebe Bikila. He was an Ethiopian distance runner and he won the Rome Olympics [marathon] running barefoot. He was then sponsored by Adidas. He ran the next Olympics, he carried the fuckin' shoes. No performance enhancement there. View quote
Robin Williams
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. View quote
Robin Williams
[spoofing Mister Rogers] It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood... oh, damn, someone stole my sneakers. Let's do some wonderful things today, boys and girls; but first, do you mind if I take some more medication? It helps the day go a little bit slower. There we go. Now we're gonna do some wonderful experiments you can do around the house. Let's put Mr. Hamster in the microwave, okay?... He knows where he's going. BEEP! Pop goes the weasel! That's severe radiation. Can you say "severe radiation?" View quote
Robin Williams
Politicians should wear sponsor jackets like Nascar drivers, then we know who owns them. View quote
Robin Williams
Parry is a man with a previous life that was so damaged that he had to create another personality. View quote
Robin Williams
People dont fake depression. They fake being okay. View quote
Robin Williams
Parry is a creation - somewhat Don Quixote, somewhat Groucho Marx - but he's a creation designed to avoid a past event. View quote
Robin Williams
Look! The moon like a testicle hangs low in the sky. This bodes not well. View quote
Robin Williams
[as a Shakespearean narrator] Mind not my words - Let the play be the thing. I'll get back forth and touch myself anon. View quote
Robin Williams
I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Zachary, graduated from college, I said, 'My boy's got learnin'!' (Robin Williams)
You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it like shorthand. View quote
Robin Williams
I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn't know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was just in awe of this man because of what he'd done. View quote
Robin Williams
I love kids, but they are a tough audience. View quote
Robin Williams
I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people. View quote
Robin Williams
Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. View quote
Robin Williams
Politics is so personal, vicious and immediate, how are you going to get anything done? Even the local politics where I live have gotten so ugly. View quote
Robin Williams
Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to create another person. View quote
Robin Williams
I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal. View quote
Robin Williams
Being in the same room with people and creating something together is a good thing. View quote
Robin Williams
The idea of having a steady job is appealing. (Robin Williams)
The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field running. View quote
Robin Williams
I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more precious; it's kind of amazing. View quote
Robin Williams
I was on this German talk show and this woman said to me, she said, "Mr. Williams, why do you think there's not so much comedy in Germany?" I said, "Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?" [laughter and applause] And...it was...and here's where it got interesting. She didn't bat an eyelash. She just went "No". At that point, even God's going, "Do you get it?!" German comedy: "Knock-knock--We ask the questions!". View quote
Robin Williams
It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you- when he comes down from the mountain and you see he's this man with weaknesses. And you love him as this whole being, not as a figurehead. View quote
Robin Williams