P. G. Wodehouse quotes - page 4

My Aunt Dahlia has a carrying voice... If all other sources of income failed, she could make a good living calling the cattle home across the Sands of Dee. (P. G. Wodehouse)
I remember her telling me once that rabbits were the gnomes in attendance to the Fairy Queen and that the stars were God's daisy chain. Perfect rot, of course. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Providence looks after all the chumps of this world, and personally, I'm all for it. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
[He] saw that a peculiar expression had come into his nephew's face; an expression a little like that of a young hindu fakir who having settled himself on his first bed of spikes is beginning to wish that he had chosen one of the easier religions. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Woman is the unfathomable, incalculable mystery, the problem that we men can never hope to solve. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Some time ago," he said, "--how long it seems! -- I remember saying to a young friend of mine of the name of Spiller, 'Comrade Spiller, never confuse the unusual with the impossible.' It is my guiding rule in life. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
One of the drawbacks to life is that it contains moments when one is compelled to tell the truth. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Ice formed on the butler's upper slopes. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
The modern young man,' said Aunt Dahlia, 'is a congenital idiot and wants a nurse to lead him by the hand and some strong attendant to kick him regularly at intervals of a quarter of an hour. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Have you ever seen Spode eat asparagus?' 'No.' 'Revolting. It alters one's whole conception of Man as Nature's last word. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Scarcely had I entered the sitting-room when I found ... what appeared at first sight to be the Devil, A closer scrutiny informed me that it was Gussie Fink-Nottle, dressed as Mephistopheles. (P. G. Wodehouse)
It was a cold, disapproving gaze, such as a fastidious luncher who was not fond of caterpillars might have directed at one which he had discovered in his portion of salad... View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Yes, sir,' said Jeeves in a low, cold voice, as if he had been bitten in the leg by a personal friend. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been.' (quoting John Greenleaf Whittier) View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Though never for an instant faltering in my opinion that Augustus Fink-Nottle was Nature's final word in cloth-headed guffins, I liked the man, wished him well. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
So was victory turned into defeat, and Billy's jaw became squarer and his eye more full of the light of battle than ever. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I wouldn't have said off-hand that I had a subconscious mind, but I suppose I must without knowing it, and no doubt it was there, sweating away diligently at the old stand, all the while the corporeal Wooster was getting his eight hours. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Besides, isn't there something in the book of rules about a man may not marry his cousin? Or am I thinking of grandmothers? View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
There are some things a chappie's mind absolutely refuses to picture, and Aunt Julia singing 'Rumpty-tiddley-umpty-ay' is one of them. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Are you sure?' I said that sure was just what I wasn't anything but. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
He had been looking like a dead fish. He now looked like a deader fish, one of last year's, cast up on some lonely beach and left there at the mercy of the wind and tides. (P. G. Wodehouse)
Don't you like this hat?‘ ‘No, sir.‘ ‘Well, I do,‘ I replied rather cleverly, and went out with it tilted just that merest shade over the left eye which makes all the difference. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I was reading in the paper the other day about those birds who are trying to split the atom, the nub being that they haven't the foggiest as to what will happen if they do. It may be all right. On the other hand, it may not be all right. And pretty silly a chap would feel, no doubt, if, having split the atom, he suddenly found the house going up in smoke and himself torn limb from limb. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I don't say I've got much of a soul, but, such as it is, I'm perfectly satisfied with the little chap. I don't want people fooling about with it. ‘Leave it alone,' I say. ‘Don't touch it. I like it the way it is. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Stinko, is he?' 'Not perhaps stinko, but certainly effervescent. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse