P. G. Wodehouse quotes - page 12

What you want, my lad, and what you're going to get are two very different things. (P. G. Wodehouse)
She looked like something that might have occured to Ibsen in one of his less frivolous moments. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G. K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
She had more curves than a scenic railway. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
As a dancer, I out-Fred the nimblest Astaire. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
It was one of those parties where you cough twice before you speak and then decide not to say it after all. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I suppose half the time Shakespeare just shoved down anything that came into his head. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
She looked away. Her attitude seemed to suggest that she had finished with him, and would be obliged if somebody would come and sweep him up. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I am not always good and noble. I am the hero of this story, but I have my off moments. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
It was a nasty look. It made me feel as if I were something the dog had brought in and intended to bury later on, when he had time. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Employers are like horses - they require management. (P. G. Wodehouse)
You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir. He is fundamentally unsound. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this?' There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
No one so dislikes being punished unjustly as the person who might have been punished justly on scores of previous occasions, if he had only been found out. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
This is peculiarly an age in which each of us may, if he do but search diligently, find the literature suited to his mental powers. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I hadn't the heart to touch my breakfast. I told Jeeves to drink it himself. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I mean, imagine how some unfortunate Master Criminal would feel, on coming down to do a murder at the old Grange, if he found that not only was Sherlock Holmes putting in the weekend there, but Hercule Poirot, as well." ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Another of these strong silent men. The world is full of us. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
I expect I shall feel better after tea. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
The ideas of debtor and creditor as to what constitutes a good time never coincide. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
If he had a mind, there was something on it. (P. G. Wodehouse)
Why do dachshunds wear their ears inside out? View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Warm-hearted! I should think he has to wear asbestos vests! View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
Say what you will, there is something fine about our old aristocracy. I'll bet Trotsky couldn't hit a moving secretary with an egg on a dark night. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse
She's a sort of human vampire-bat. View quote
P. G. Wodehouse