Lily Tomlin quotes

The best mind-altering drug is the truth. (Lily Tomlin)
The trouble with the rat race is that if you win you're still a rat.
Lily Tomlin
Don't be afraid of missing opportunities. Behind every failure is an opportunity somebody wishes they had missed.
Lily Tomlin
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?
Lily Tomlin
Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them.
Lily Tomlin
No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.
Lily Tomlin
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.
Lily Tomlin
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin
There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it.
Lily Tomlin
Remember we're all in this alone. (Lily Tomlin)
What if it's boring - or if it's not boring, it might be too revealing, or worse, it might be too revealing and still be boring.
Lily Tomlin
I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.
Lily Tomlin
There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
Lily Tomlin
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.
Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I feel like a figment of my own imagination.
Lily Tomlin
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
Lily Tomlin
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin
Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?
Lily Tomlin
If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less. (Lily Tomlin)
Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
Lily Tomlin
For fast-acting relief try slowing down.
Lily Tomlin
I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody.
Lily Tomlin
The road to success is always under construction.
Lily Tomlin