Mark Twain quotes - page 8

Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. (Mark Twain)
It is a pity that we cannot escape from life when we are young. View quote
Mark Twain
One of the brightest gems in the New England weather is the dazzling uncertainty of it. View quote
Mark Twain
The highest perfection of politeness is only a beautiful edifice, built, from the base to the dome, of ungraceful and gilded forms of charitable and unselfish lying. View quote
Mark Twain
They spell it Vinci and pronounce it Vinchy foreigners always spell better than they pronounce. View quote
Mark Twain
A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother. View quote
Mark Twain
Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden. View quote
Mark Twain
It is more trouble to make a maxim than it is to do right. View quote
Mark Twain
Wagner's music is better than it sounds. View quote
Mark Twain
There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought --a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering for. View quote
Mark Twain
We are always anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. (Mark Twain)
The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right. View quote
Mark Twain
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. View quote
Mark Twain
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very'; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be. View quote
Mark Twain
I can live for two months on a good compliment. View quote
Mark Twain
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. View quote
Mark Twain
A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. View quote
Mark Twain
A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. View quote
Mark Twain
Make it a point to do something every day that you dont want to do. This is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain. View quote
Mark Twain
Fame is a vapor popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion. View quote
Mark Twain
If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first. (Mark Twain)
Some men worship rank, some men worship heroes, some men worship power, some men worship God, and over these ideals they dispute -- but they all worship money. View quote
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. View quote
Mark Twain
What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it. View quote
Mark Twain
Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side And hain't that a big enough majority in any town. View quote
Mark Twain