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Mark Twain quotes - page 5
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
Mark Twain
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
Mark Twain
Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
Mark Twain
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.
Mark Twain
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain
Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written.
Mark Twain
It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.
Mark Twain
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
Mark Twain
Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
Mark Twain
The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.
Mark Twain
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.
Mark Twain
It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.
Mark Twain
I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain
Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good.
Mark Twain
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
Mark Twain
Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
Mark Twain
I don't give a damn for man that can spell a word only one way.
Mark Twain
I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.
Mark Twain
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain
The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
Mark Twain
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