Mark Twain quotes - page 35

There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition there are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it. (Mark Twain)
There is no humor in heaven. View quote
Mark Twain
The Bible is a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology. View quote
Mark Twain
When a man's dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama. View quote
Mark Twain
The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we should run out of building materials. View quote
Mark Twain
I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again. View quote
Mark Twain
Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. View quote
Mark Twain
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded . . . View quote
Mark Twain
I find that the further I go back, the better things, whether they happened or not. View quote
Mark Twain
Reputation is a hall-mark it can remove doubt from pure silver, and it can also make the plated article pass for pure. View quote
Mark Twain
I cannot keep from talking, even at the risk of being instructive. (Mark Twain)
I said there was nothing so convincing to an Indian as a general massacre. If he could not approve of the massacre, I said the next surest thing for an Indian was soap and education. Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run because a half-massacred Indian may recover, but if you educate him and wash him, it is bound to finish him some time or other. View quote
Mark Twain
The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak. View quote
Mark Twain
Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues. View quote
Mark Twain
For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment. View quote
Mark Twain
Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever. View quote
Mark Twain
All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised. View quote
Mark Twain
Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom. View quote
Mark Twain
Civilizations proceed from the heart rather than from the head. View quote
Mark Twain
Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame. View quote
Mark Twain
A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught. (Mark Twain)
Not until you become a stranger to yourself will you be able to make acquaintance with the Friend. View quote
Mark Twain
Where prejudice exists it always discolors our thoughts. View quote
Mark Twain
An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the Sun, but because it comes seldom the world thinks it's a grand thing. View quote
Mark Twain
What a man misses mostly in heaven is company. View quote
Mark Twain