Mark Twain quotes - page 2

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. (Mark Twain)
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well. View quote
Mark Twain
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. View quote
Mark Twain
I've never let my school interfere with my education. View quote
Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. View quote
Mark Twain
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it. View quote
Mark Twain
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. View quote
Mark Twain
Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. View quote
Mark Twain
Don't go around thinking the world owes you a living. It was here first. View quote
Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. View quote
Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. (Mark Twain)
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. View quote
Mark Twain
The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. View quote
Mark Twain
It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. View quote
Mark Twain
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times. View quote
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself. View quote
Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. View quote
Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet in his private heart no man much respects himself. View quote
Mark Twain
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. View quote
Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. View quote
Mark Twain
When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear. (Mark Twain)
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it he knows too little. View quote
Mark Twain
"Classic." A book which people praise and don't read. View quote
Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. View quote
Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. View quote
Mark Twain