Jon Stewart quotes - page 5

Using Fox's model, find someone with the passion and the huevos to just lay it on the line - not in a partisan way, not in the pursuit of political power and political gain, but in the pursuit of credibility. (Jon Stewart)
I think, oftentimes, the person that knows they can't win is allowed to speak the most freely... View quote
Jon Stewart
See, the thing is, we need your help. Your... Right now, you're helping the politicians and the corporations. And we're left out there to mow our lawns. View quote
Jon Stewart
And I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being a... b...bad. View quote
Jon Stewart
Other forms of Judaism dispute this claim, although it does explain certain passages in the first Torah, such as, "I'm sorry, am I boring you?" and "What do you like better, Moses, Lord Almighty or Big Hoohah?" View quote
Jon Stewart
Yeah, okay, maybe they're not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan "You Can Depend on CNN". Guess what? I watch it, no you can't. View quote
Jon Stewart
We are not warriors in anyone's army. View quote
Jon Stewart
Why no women, blacks, or non-Christians have answered the founders' challenge is a mystery, though most indications point to some inherent genetic flaw. View quote
Jon Stewart
I don't know much about democracy. I've only lived in this country. View quote
Jon Stewart
I mean, it's so hard to make Russell Crowe look like he got in a fight. View quote
Jon Stewart
You would think that if you bring oxygen to the organism, the organism lives. But there may be other organisms in there that thrive in darkness and in a more anaerobic environment. Watching those creatures writhe will always be interesting. (Jon Stewart)
And then I'd get it and think, well geez, Poland's just up the road a piece and... you know the rest. View quote
Jon Stewart
Me!! The inventor of the Blitzkrieg. View quote
Jon Stewart
Just because we hit on points that resonate, or people think are real complaints-that doesn't make us journalists. View quote
Jon Stewart
On 9/11 we were attacked. And so, I should get to bang your wife. View quote
Jon Stewart
Hasn't God already made up his mind on that sort of thing? View quote
Jon Stewart
I don't really know to put this, so I'll be blunt. We broke it. View quote
Jon Stewart
Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire, we heard kind of a pinging noise, and uh, then the damn thing just died on us. View quote
Jon Stewart
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. View quote
Jon Stewart
I'm not going to be your monkey. View quote
Jon Stewart
Peoples' senses of humor tend to go about as far as their ideology. (Jon Stewart)
The country's 24 hour political pundit perpetual panic conflictinator did not cause our problems but its existence makes solving them that much harder. View quote
Jon Stewart
It should have been a crowning moment, but I clearly remember thinking, What am I doing here? I hate crowds. View quote
Jon Stewart
There are women here who can barely afford enough gown to cover their breasts. View quote
Jon Stewart
You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably. View quote
Jon Stewart