Chris Rock quotes - page 3

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options. (Chris Rock)
Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies. View quote
Chris Rock
You mean to tell me that Jamaicans invented sugar, reggae and the best drug on Earth and the white man makes all the money!? View quote
Chris Rock
You can't beat white people, you can only knock them out. View quote
Chris Rock
Have you been watching American Idol? They have Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul judging the singing. Paula Abdul?! Getting Paula Abdul to judge a singing contest is like getting Christopher Reeve to judge a dance contest! View quote
Chris Rock
What is on Kobe's mind? Going to Colorado, around all these white people, and not bringing Johnnie Cochran? Well then they say, "well if you hire Johnnie Cochran, you're going to look guilty." Yeah, but you going home! You want to look innocent in jail? I'd rather look guilty at the mall. View quote
Chris Rock
I hope that Live Earth ends global warming the same way the Live Aid ended world poverty. View quote
Chris Rock
Black Santa Claus caused more tears than the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. View quote
Chris Rock
If the kid call his grandmama "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he going to jail! View quote
Chris Rock
You mean to tell me that Hawaiians came up with pineapples, resorts, hula hoops, Magnum P. I. and the best damn punch in the world and they don't get no money from it!? View quote
Chris Rock
Everybody want to know what the kids was listening to, what kind of music they was listening to, or what kind of movies they was watching. Who gives a fuck what they was watching? Whatever happened to CRAZY? (Chris Rock)
On Desperate Housewives: I think they should change the name of that show from Desperate Housewives...to Ungrateful Bitches! You all are hoes bitch! View quote
Chris Rock
Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. View quote
Chris Rock
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders. View quote
Chris Rock
You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. View quote
Chris Rock
Every man has to settle down eventually. You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don't want to be the old guy in the club. You know what I'm talking about. Every club you go into, there's always some old guy. He ain't really old, just a little too old to be in the club. View quote
Chris Rock
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club and the sun is out, you got some problems! View quote
Chris Rock
[on John McCain] I don't need a president with a bucket list! View quote
Chris Rock
[on John McCain being too old] When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way! View quote
Chris Rock
School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man. View quote
Chris Rock
A sense of humor is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage. (Chris Rock)
If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game. View quote
Chris Rock
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time. View quote
Chris Rock
If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner. View quote
Chris Rock
Women need food, water, and compliments That's right. And an occasional pair of shoes. View quote
Chris Rock