Dorothy Parker quotes - page 2

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B. (Dorothy Parker)
This play John Drinkwater's Abraham Lincoln holds the season's record, thus far, with a run of four evening performances and one matinee. By an odd coincidence, it ran just five performances too many.
Dorothy Parker
The House Beautiful is the play lousy.
Dorothy Parker
Men seldom make passes At girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker
You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.
Dorothy Parker
If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they're happy.
Dorothy Parker
There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
Dorothy Parker
And it is that word 'hummy,' my darlings, that marks the first place in The House at Pooh Corner at which Tonstant Weader fwowed up.
Dorothy Parker
The ones I like ... are "cheque" and "enclosed."
Dorothy Parker
It takes me six months to do a story. I think it out and then write it sentence by sentence-no first draft. I can't write five words but that I change seven.
Dorothy Parker
Age Before Beauty." "Pearls Before Swine. (Dorothy Parker)
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
Dorothy Parker
Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.
Dorothy Parker
Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.
Dorothy Parker
Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.
Dorothy Parker
But I don't give up; I forget why not.
Dorothy Parker
Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.
Dorothy Parker
Woman wants monogamy; Man delights in novelty. Love is woman's moon and sun; Man has other forms of fun. Woman lives but in her lord; Count to ten, and man is bored. With this the gist and sum of it, What earthly good can come of it?
Dorothy Parker
Where's the man that could ease a heart like a satin gown?
Dorothy Parker
I shudder at the thought of men.... I'm due to fall in love again.
Dorothy Parker
If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it. (Dorothy Parker)
Be you wise and never sad, You will get your lovely lad. Never serious be, nor true, And your wish will come to you-- And if that makes you happy, kid, You'll be the first it ever did.
Dorothy Parker
Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
Dorothy Parker
If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the best you can do, and it's the fact that it's the best you can do that kills you.
Dorothy Parker
She can sit up and beg, and she can give her paw - I don't say she will, but she can.
Dorothy Parker