Joe Orton quotes - page 2

Truscott: Do you realize what I'm doing here? McLeavy: No. Your every action has been a mystery to me. Truscott: That is as it should be. The process by which the police arrive at the solution to a mystery is, in itself, a mystery. (Joe Orton)
Fay: You've been a widower for three days. Have you considered remarrying yet? McLeavy: No. Fay: Why not? McLeavy: I've been so busy with the funeral. View quote
Joe Orton
Mrs Prentice: My uterine contractions have been bogus for some time! Prentice: What a discovery! Married to the mistress of the fraudulent climax. View quote
Joe Orton
Rance: A search party must be organized. What have you in the way of dogs? Prentice: A spaniel and a miniature poodle. Rance: Let them be unleashed! View quote
Joe Orton
Rance: Were your relations with your secretary normal? Prentice: Yes. Rance: Well, Prentice, your private life is your own affair. I find it shocking none the less. View quote
Joe Orton
Fay: Your explanation had the ring of truth about it.. Naturally I disbelieved every word. View quote
Joe Orton
Sir - In finding so much to praise in 'Entertaining Mr. Sloane,' which seems to be nothing more than a highly sensationalized, lurid, crude and over-dramatised picture of life at its lowest, surely your dramatic critic has taken leave of his senses.The effect this nauseating work had on me was to make we want to fill my lungs with some fresh, wholesome Leicester Square air. A distinguished critic, if I quote him correctly, felt the sensation of snakes crawling around his ankles while watching it.Yours truly,Peter Pinnell. View quote
Joe Orton
McLeavy: My duty is clear. Truscott: Only the authorities can decide when your duty is clear. Wild guesses by persons like yourself can only cause confusion. View quote
Joe Orton
Rance: You may speak freely in front of me. I represent Her Majesty's Government. Your immediate superiors in madness. I'm from the Commissioners. Prentice: Which branch? Rance: The mental branch. Prentice: Do you cover asylums proper? Or just houses of tentative madness? Rance: My brief is infinite. I'd have sway over a rabbit hutch if the inmates were mentally disturbed. View quote
Joe Orton
Truscott: How dare you involve me in a situation for which no memo has been issued. View quote
Joe Orton
Truscott: I'm no fool. Fay: Your secret is safe with me. (Joe Orton)
Rance: How shocking! His abnormal condition has driven him to seek refuge in religion. Always the last ditch stand of a man on the brink of disaster. View quote
Joe Orton
Geraldine: At least give me back my clothes. I feel naked without them. View quote
Joe Orton
Fay: Have you given a thought to the priest? Truscott: We can't have him in on it, miss. Our percentage wouldn't be worth having. Fay: Mr McLeavy threatened to expose us. Truscott: I've been exposed before. Fay: What happened? Truscott: I arrested the man. He's doing twelve years. View quote
Joe Orton
Truscott: And you complain you were beaten? Dennis: Yes. Truscott: Did you tell anyone? Dennis: Yes. Truscott: Who? Dennis: The officer in charge. Truscott: What did he say? Dennis: Nothing. Truscott: Why not? Dennis: He was out of breath with kicking. View quote
Joe Orton
Fay: Have you known him long? Hal: We shared the same cradle. Fay: Was that economy or malpractice? Hal: We were too young then to practice and economics still defeat us. View quote
Joe Orton
I was approached to do a film script for the Beatles. I said it would have to be an absolutely original script. Paul McCartney said do whatever you like. I said that means you'll never be able to do it. View quote
Joe Orton
Prentice: Unnatural vice can ruin a man. Rance: Ruin follows the accusation not the vice. View quote
Joe Orton
Fay: The priest at St Kilda's has asked me to speak to you. He's very worried. He says you spend your time thieving from slot machines and deflowering the daughters of better men than yourself. Is this a fact? Hal: Yes. Fay: And even the sex you were born into isn't safe from your marauding. Father Mac is popular for the remission of sins, as you know. But clearing up after you is a full-time job. He simply cannot be in the confessional twenty-four hours a day. That's reasonable, isn't it? You do see his point? View quote
Joe Orton
Dennis: She's turned me down. She's broken my heart. Hal: She doesn't know what she is missing, baby. Dennis: But she does! That's what's so humiliating. View quote
Joe Orton
Mrs Prentice: You put me in an impossible position. Nick: No position is impossible when you're young and healthy. (Joe Orton)
Prentice: It's a fascinating theory, sir, and cleverly put together. Does it tie in with known facts? Rance: That need not cause us undue anxiety. Civilizations have been founded and maintained on theories which refused to obey facts. View quote
Joe Orton
Mrs Prentice: Are you ashamed of the fact that you write to strange men? Prentice: There's nothing furtive in my relationship with the editor of The Guardian. View quote
Joe Orton
Nick: I'm sorry if my behaviour last night caused your wife anxiety, but I've a burning desire to sleep with every woman I meet. Prentice: That's a filthy habit and, in my opinion, very injurious to the health. Nick: It is, sir. My health's never been the same since I went off stamp-collecting. Prentice: We have an overall moral policy in this clinic from which even I am not exempt. Whilst you're with us I shall expect you to show an interest in no one's sexual organs but your own. Nick: I would miss a lot of fun that way. Prentice: That is the object of the exercise. View quote
Joe Orton
Mrs. Prentice: Are you Geraldine Barclay? Nick: Yes. Mrs. Prentice: Where have you been? Nick: I've been attending to the thousand and one duties that occupy the average secretary during her working hours. Mrs Prentice: It doesn't take the whole morning to file your nails, surely? Nick: I had to lie down. I was sick. Mrs. Prentice: Are you pregnant? Nick: I can't discuss my employer's business with you. View quote
Joe Orton