Ogden Nash quotes - page 7

You are much happier when you are happy than when you ain't. (Ogden Nash)
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick. View quote
Ogden Nash
There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth I think that perhaps its the gin. View quote
Ogden Nash
An occasional lucky guess as to what makes a wife tick is the best a man can hope for, Even then, no sooner has he learned how to cope with the tick than she tocks. View quote
Ogden Nash
Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. View quote
Ogden Nash
Maybe I couldn't be dafter, But I keep wondering if this time we settle our differences before a war instead of after. View quote
Ogden Nash
The only way I can distinguish proper from improper fractions Is by their actions. View quote
Ogden Nash
Ten years ago she split the air To seize what she could spy Tonight she bumps against a chair, Betrayed by milky eye. She seems to pant, Time up, time up My little dog must die, And lie in dust with Hector's pup I So, presently, must I. View quote
Ogden Nash
In the world of mules there are no rules. View quote
Ogden Nash
A cough is something that you yourself can't help, but everybody else does on purpose just to torment you. View quote
Ogden Nash
And one of his partners asked Has he vertigo and the other glanced out and down and said Oh no, only about ten feet more. (Ogden Nash)
They take the paper and they read the headlines.. So they've heard of unemployment and they've heard of bread-lines. And they philanthropically cure them all By getting up a costume charity ball. View quote
Ogden Nash
Linguistics becomes an ever eerier area, like I feel like Im in Oz, Just trying to tell it like it was. View quote
Ogden Nash
Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around. View quote
Ogden Nash
Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to avoid responsibility. View quote
Ogden Nash
Here is a pen and here is a pencil, Here's a typewriter, here's a stencil, Here is a list of today's appointments, And all the flies in all the ointments, The daily woes that a man endures --Take them, George, they're yours. View quote
Ogden Nash
Dogs display reluctance and wrath If you try to give them a bath. They bury bones in hideaways And half the time they trot sideaways. View quote
Ogden Nash
A lady is known by the product she endorses. View quote
Ogden Nash
In real life, it takes only one to make a quarrel. View quote
Ogden Nash
One would be in less danger From the wiles of the stranger If ones own kin and kith Were more fun to be with. View quote
Ogden Nash
I was born a jackdaw why should I try to be an owl. (Ogden Nash)
Middle-aged life is merry, and I love to lead it. View quote
Ogden Nash
Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters. View quote
Ogden Nash
There are two kinds of people who blow through life like a breeze, And one kind is gossipers, and the other kind is gossipees. View quote
Ogden Nash
No matter how deep and dark your pit, how dank your shroud, Their heads are heroically unbloody and unbowed. View quote
Ogden Nash