Spike Milligan quotes

I can speak Esperanto like a native. (Spike Milligan)
All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. View quote
Spike Milligan
I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine. View quote
Spike Milligan
Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. View quote
Spike Milligan
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? View quote
Spike Milligan
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. View quote
Spike Milligan
My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. View quote
Spike Milligan
Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. View quote
Spike Milligan
I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. View quote
Spike Milligan
For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string. View quote
Spike Milligan
And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said he would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. (Spike Milligan)
Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy. View quote
Spike Milligan
We can't stand around here doing nothing, people will think we're workmen. View quote
Spike Milligan
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. View quote
Spike Milligan
If a man dies when you hang him, keep hanging him until he gets used to it. View quote
Spike Milligan
God made night But Man made darkness. View quote
Spike Milligan
Policemen are numbered in case they get lost. View quote
Spike Milligan
A lot of learning can be a little thing. View quote
Spike Milligan
It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't. View quote
Spike Milligan
It's all in the mind, you know. View quote
Spike Milligan
Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B? (Spike Milligan)
On the Ning Nang Nong When the cows go bong! View quote
Spike Milligan
I'm a hero with coward's legs. View quote
Spike Milligan
I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it. View quote
Spike Milligan
Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order. View quote
Spike Milligan