Wilson Mizner quotes - page 2

If you count all your assets you always show a profit. (Wilson Mizner)
All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. View quote
Wilson Mizner
A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. View quote
Wilson Mizner
I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience. View quote
Wilson Mizner
Failure has gone to his head. View quote
Wilson Mizner
I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own. View quote
Wilson Mizner
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. View quote
Wilson Mizner
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. View quote
Wilson Mizner
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. View quote
Wilson Mizner
It's getting so people no longer count the silverware when I come to dinner. View quote
Wilson Mizner
Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother. (Wilson Mizner)
The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears. View quote
Wilson Mizner
I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .' View quote
Wilson Mizner
I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile. View quote
Wilson Mizner
That man was so much larger than life that there's no scale by which to measure him. Most of Wilson's dialogue, if put down on paper, seems either vulgar or obscene. View quote
Wilson Mizner
...a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottom boat. View quote
Wilson Mizner
Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy. View quote
Wilson Mizner
Tell 'em to count to ten over him and he'll get up. View quote
Wilson Mizner
Harry Thaw shot the wrong architect. View quote
Wilson Mizner
Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore. View quote
Wilson Mizner
You sparkle with larceny. (Wilson Mizner)
Art is science made clear. View quote
Wilson Mizner
It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. View quote
Wilson Mizner
You can't be a rascal for 40 years and then cop a plea the last minute. God keeps better books than that. View quote
Wilson Mizner
America's most fascinating outlaw. View quote
Wilson Mizner