Steve Martin quotes - page 2

I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early mid-afternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning... But never at dusk! Never at dusk, I would never do that. (Steve Martin)
You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again. View quote
Steve Martin
Comedy is not pretty. View quote
Steve Martin
What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an actor, a dancer - there was nothing I could really say I was. The writing came much later. And, actually, thank God, because if I had said I'm a singer, I would really have just had one thing to do. View quote
Steve Martin
I gave my cat a bath the other day. . .they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, if was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that. . . View quote
Steve Martin
The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful. View quote
Steve Martin
I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart. View quote
Steve Martin
Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration. View quote
Steve Martin
I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. View quote
Steve Martin
Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it. View quote
Steve Martin
She tried to get even with him through psychological warfare but couldn't, because he didn't care. (Steve Martin)
A girl who is willing to give every ounce of herself to someone, who could never betray her lover, who never suspects maliciousness of anyone, and whose sexuality sleeps in her, waiting to be stirred. View quote
Steve Martin
Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do. View quote
Steve Martin
I have found that-- just as in real life--imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience. View quote
Steve Martin
I have heard it said that a complicated childhood can lead to a life in the arts. I tell you this story of my father and me to let you know I am qualified to be a comedian. View quote
Steve Martin
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. View quote
Steve Martin
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither. View quote
Steve Martin
Or is it that I think too much? View quote
Steve Martin
Why sip from a tea cup, when you can drink from the river. View quote
Steve Martin
Only then does he realize what he has done to Mirabelle, how wanting a square inch of her and not all of her has damaged them both, and how he cannot justify his actions except that, well, it was life. View quote
Steve Martin
The self-prepared dinner is a great time killer for lonely people and as much time should be spent on it as possible. (Steve Martin)
There are few takers for the quiet heart. View quote
Steve Martin
I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is. View quote
Steve Martin
With a cheery delicacy she divided my obsessions into three categories: acceptable, unacceptable, and hilarious. View quote
Steve Martin
When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane. View quote
Steve Martin