Groucho Marx quotes - page 7

There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan. (Groucho Marx)
It is impossible to design anything that is foolproof because fools are so ingenious. View quote
Groucho Marx
I cannot say that I do not disagree wtih you. View quote
Groucho Marx
Middle age is when you go to bed at night and hope you feel better in the morning. Old age is when you go to bed at night and hope you wake up in the morning. View quote
Groucho Marx
My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. View quote
Groucho Marx
I'd like to meet the person who invented sex and see what they're working on now. View quote
Groucho Marx
Don't let the fear of the thorn keep you from the rose. View quote
Groucho Marx
In any relationship, the woman has control, the clever ones don't let the men know. View quote
Groucho Marx
Patience is the art of finding something else to do. View quote
Groucho Marx
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money. View quote
Groucho Marx
If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much - just an occasional sun visor. (Groucho Marx)
In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians can go on the air and kid the people. View quote
Groucho Marx
If we had some eggs we could have eggs and ham, if we had some ham. View quote
Groucho Marx
I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. View quote
Groucho Marx
Celebrate the cracks, because that's how the light comes in. View quote
Groucho Marx
Growing old is something you do if you're lucky. View quote
Groucho Marx
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay. View quote
Groucho Marx
Will you marry me? Do you have any money? Answer the second question first. View quote
Groucho Marx
I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing. View quote
Groucho Marx
I have an agreement with the houseflies. The flies don't practice law and I don't walk on the ceiling. View quote
Groucho Marx
The Arab and the camel are inseparable. It's been said that and Arab would give up his wife rather than give up his camel. Personally, I haven't got a camel, but I think it's a great idea. (Groucho Marx)
Believe me, you have to get up early if you want to get out of bed. View quote
Groucho Marx
I think you've got something there, but I'll wait outside until you clean it up. View quote
Groucho Marx
A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound of sachet powder, an evil-smelling lip rouge, a peculiar-smelling hair ointment and a half-dozen varieties of body oils, and then have the effrontery to complain of the aroma of a fine dollar cigar. View quote
Groucho Marx
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. View quote
Groucho Marx