Fran Lebowitz quotes - page 3

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat. (Fran Lebowitz)
If you're going to America, bring your own food. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Never judge a cover by its book. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Andy Warhol made fame more famous. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Nothing succeeds like address. (Fran Lebowitz)
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Do not elicit your child's political opinions. He doesn't know any more than you do. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Should you be a teenager blessed with uncommon good looks, document this state of affairs by the taking of photographs. It is the only way anyone will ever believe you in years to come. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Should novels generally be 600 pages? No, they should not. Half of writing, maybe 3/4 of writing, is editing. This seems to be a thing that has not gotten through to them. It's my impression that you could get rid of half of most of these books. These people are not good enough to be this long, but they're apparently also not good enough to be shorter. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself - a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Children do not really need money. After all, they don't have to pay rent or send mailgrams. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
I don't believe in anything you have to believe in. (Fran Lebowitz)
There's no such thing as advice to the lovelorn. If they took advice, they wouldn't be lovelorn. You see, advice and lovelorn don't go together. Because advice makes love sound like some sort of cognitive activity, but we know that it isn't. We all know that it's some sort of horrible chemical reaction over which we have absolutely no control. And that's why advice doesn't work. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add. View quote
Fran Lebowitz
You're only has good as your last haircut. View quote
Fran Lebowitz