George Carlin quotes - page 10

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? (George Carlin)
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords. View quote
George Carlin
If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue. And probably increase. View quote
George Carlin
Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves. View quote
George Carlin
I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show. View quote
George Carlin
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. View quote
George Carlin
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established. View quote
George Carlin
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy. View quote
George Carlin
Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's. View quote
George Carlin
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly! View quote
George Carlin
And off we go, out onto the highway looking for a little fun. Perhaps a flatbed truck loaded with human cadavers will explode in front of a Star Trek reunion. One can only dream and hope. (George Carlin)
I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to. View quote
George Carlin
So I want to thank the Pentagon, the Soviet Union and the military-industrial complex from the bottom of my heart. Without them, I could never have become the man I am today. View quote
George Carlin
Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they? View quote
George Carlin
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. View quote
George Carlin
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place. View quote
George Carlin
Religion is like a pair of shoes..... Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. View quote
George Carlin
Help me find some shoes I really like. Help me also to find a nymphomaniac coke connection who owns a Ferrari dealership. View quote
George Carlin
Don't just teach your children to read... Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything. View quote
George Carlin
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. View quote
George Carlin
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes... dies. (George Carlin)
I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. View quote
George Carlin
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya. View quote
George Carlin
With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius. View quote
George Carlin
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders. View quote
George Carlin