Kurt Vonnegut quotes - page 4

I don't know about you, but I practice a disorganized religion. I belong to an unholy disorder. We call ourselves "Our Lady of Perpetual Astonishment." (Kurt Vonnegut)
All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
Bergeron's epitaph for the planet, I remember, which he said should be carved in big letters in a wall of the Grand Canyon for the flying-saucer people to find, was this:WE COULD HAVE SAVED IT BUT WE WERE TOO DOGGONE CHEAPOnly he didn't say 'doggone.'" View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
There is a riddle about a man who is locked in a room with nothing but a bed and a calendar, and the question is: How does he survive? The answer is: He eats dates from the calendar and drinks water from the springs of the bed. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph: THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
George W. Bush has gathered around him upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
1. Find a subject you care about. 2. Do not ramble, though. 3. Keep it simple. 4. Have the guts to cut. 5. Sound like yourself. 6. Say what you mean to say. 7. Pity the readers. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
Many people need desperately to receive this message: "I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people don't care about them. You are not alone." View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, "Please - a little less love, and a little more common decency." View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
A joke is like building a mousetrap from scratch. You have to work pretty hard to make the thing snap when it is supposed to snap. (Kurt Vonnegut)
Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
The most important message of a crucifix, to me anyway, was how unspeakably cruel supposedly sane human beings can be when under orders from a superior authority. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
I still believe that peace and plenty and happiness can be worked out some way. I am a fool. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
High school is closer to the core of the American experience than anything else I can think of. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
If you can do no good, at least do no harm. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
I think it can be tremendously refreshing if a creator of literature has something on his mind other than the history of literature so far. Literature should not disappear up its own asshole, so to speak. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
If facts weren't funny, or scary, or couldn't make you rich, the heck with them. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
Beer, of course, is actually a depressant. But poor people will never stop hoping otherwise. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
Pretend to be good always, and even God will be fooled. (Kurt Vonnegut)
The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
As in my other works of fiction: All persons living and dead are purely coincidental, and should not be construed. No names have been changed in order to protect the innocent. Angels protect the innocent as a matter of Heavenly routine. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone. I get drunk, and I drive my wife away with a breath like mustard gas and roses. And then, speaking gravely and elegantly into the telephone, I ask the telephone operators to connect me with this friend or that one, from whom I have not heard in years. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut
He alienated his friends in the sciences by thanking them extravagantly for scientific advances he had read about in the recent newspapers and magazines, by assuring them, with a perfectly straight face, that life was getting better and better, thanks to scientific thinking. View quote
Kurt Vonnegut